The Link

i bought a dog

space time tanks

in the spirit of not writing much and instead posting links to videos i love, here you go!

eggs eroneous

 

"oh my god oh my god oh my god!"
--  matt drudge

Matt Dolbey

  

yutes

Clever.

Note that the word means one thing when applied to people, another when applied to horses.  A clever horse is a good-natured one, not an ingenious one.

free lunch

I bought a pair of boots last fall.  Rather uncomfortable at first, but what new boots aren't?   After a week or so, they became comfortable.   I was quite happy with these boots.  

With time, I started to notice that the shoelaces were starting to fray and fucked.   One fateful morning as I was pulling the laces, it just snapped.  Well fuck me sideways.  Not a big deal though...as shoelaces should be easy to find in a city as large as this one, right?

First I went to the store where I purchased these shoes.  There I was met with bewilderment and confusion at my request for new laces similar to the ones on the boots they still had in stock.   "We don't carry laces like those!"   Ok...on to Walgreens.

i get to Walgreens and am greeted by empty hooks where the shoelaces should be.   Ok...there is more than one Walgreens in the city.   On to the next....again....empty hooks.   What the shit is going on, I wondered.   (Keep in mind this was all over a month ago.)   I go to CVS...then another Walgreens and am greeted with a small selection of dress shoe laces.   This won't do.   I see a shoe repair store and take note.  They are closed....but yes, there are laces on those walls.  

Still bootless, a week later I make it to the shoe repair store on a perfect Saturday afternoon.  To my dismay, they have no brown boot laces in the size I need.   The woman is helpful.   She directs me to some tan laces on the wall and though I wanted brown...tan would do.   I get the laces and she asks me for three dollars.  I reach into my wallet....no cash.  Only a debit card.  They don't accept debit cards.   What the hell?  I finally have some laces in my hand and I can't get them?!  She kindly says I can have them so long as I come in sometime and give her three dollars. 

These tan laces did the trick.  Not perfectly...but they worked.  A little short.   Not the right color.   But ok.  My boots looked like oen of those cars that has the hood of another car in a different color on it.  Not quite right...but functional at best. 

I returned to the store several times trying to settle up and they were always closed.   Do these people want my money? 

This morning as I was getting ready to go pour coffee down my throat in my favorite coffee shop, I pulled the laces....the tan ones....and snap!  They broke.  Maybe I am too rough on my laces?   Maybe I need to calm down a little bit.  I don't know.   I walk to CVS this morning and to my delight, the perfect colored and sized boot laces were sitting there for sale in the aisle with the dog food.   (Woof!)   I got the laces.  For $3.59.   I then realized that I should go settle up my debt with the friendly shoesmith.   They are open and I walk in.   There is a different shoesmith at the counter and I explain my situation.   He just smiles and says not to worry about it.   This man refused to take my three dollars.  

People always say there is no such thing as free lunch.   I understand the point...but to them I say that sometimes things are free....and in the form of shoelaces....at the shoe repair store at Belmont and Broadway in Chicago, Illinois.  

Go get yourself some laces.  They are free. 

Final Edition from Matthew Roberts on Vimeo.

big ol rig..

Wearing a blue “Tube Amp Repair” t-shirt and eating an apple (with headphones plugged into it), Young sings about the economic collapse against a basic blues beat. “I’m a big rock star,” Donald Trump’s favorite rocker sings in the hysterical single camera video. “My sales have tanked, but I still got you. Download this, it sounds like shit.”

Beautiful South African Wildebeast Taxidermy Mount - $300 (Winfield IL)

Ah, yes, it is beautiful, isn't it?

This beautiful South African Wildebeast taxidermy mount belongs on my wall.   I've always wanted some form of mounted mammal to be my pet...or friend...or conversation piece. 

Link:  Good morning, beast!
Beast: (silent)
Link:  Well, have a nice day!

I'd do that every morning, I think. 

Ok, dear reader, if you met me and we ended up back in my cave, would you find it strange to see a hairy, mounted South African Wildebeast head on my wall?   Would you judge me?  Or would you simply say hello?  

I like the Wildebeast. 

But what else is there? 

Can I get a artificially smiling deer?  Or a screaming one?   What about a Zebra? 

There's always the Moose.

This moose is quite incredible...and I'm sure would be a welcomed wonder in my little sunless apartment, but its almost $2000.    That's a lot of green for a big furry Moose.

hmmmmm. 

Our Wonderful Nature

Our wonderful nature by Tomer Eshed

i didn't know a tramp was a british term for a homeless fellow

Look at this tramp.  

And read his story here...

David Byrne. 
Chuck D.
Shepard Fairey. 

Money money money!

haha, the bigfoot

I bet they smell... like you'd smell it before you seen that there mother fuckah. You'd be all "what is that smell... it smells like a greasy hippie... a REALLY BIG greasy hippie??"

A Chicago sledding hill!

**UPDATE**
A fresh coat of powder

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